Line 6 Prime Living

"Cliffjumper, commence countdown." - Optimus Prime

Occasionally people ask me about my Prime Living habits, wanting to know whether or not Prime himself authorized the daily rituals that make me so successful. "Couldn't you have learned your routine from Joel Osteen or Anthony Robbins?" The answer is an unequivocal NO. A commitment to Prime Living is a commitment to the best, not to second rate hack-jobs with watered-down religious claptrap or Texas-size teeth. Prime Living comes from the sacred movie script itself, straight from the oracle that is Peter Cullen's plate covered mouth. Because Prime keeps it real, I must keep it real, even when the winds of change blow solar particle storms across my Cybertronian fields and I'm forced to batten down the robotic hatches. It's never NOT Prime time for a Prime Lifer.

Today's line foregrounds preparation. Before any shuttle can make an energon run to earth, there MUST be a countdown. Before any great evil is defeated, there MUST be a countdown. Before you find that your plans have been divulged by a spying robotic bird to your archenemy, there MUST be a countdown. Before you make that giant leap in your fantasy football league from laughing stock to feared opponent, there MUST be a countdown. You see my point. Every great moment has its countdown, its moments of preparation, where the mind can be focused, the robotic form of your choice taken (will you opt for vehicle or robot?), and the heavy metal music soundtrack of your dreams cued.

You can never simply find yourself in the middle of greatness. There was a five count somewhere, a few seconds of blissful anticipation where the future stretched out before you like so much junk on a planet called Junkion. You see, what Prime Living shows you is that life is a highway, and though you may ride it all night long, you will be nowhere close to traversing its infinite bounds. The bubbleheaded analysis of your Dr. Phils and Oprahs simply cannot compete with the universe spanning wisdom of Prime. Prime says, "Look, do you want to jump a cliff? Well, hang onto to your afterburners, and start counting with me..." Five, four, three, two, one.

And blastoff, Prime Lifers! Blastoff.